Next Week

 Time is flying by faster and faster all the time and next week I am three quarters of a century old ! It's so strange getting old, never thought I would. You know the way I lived when I was young led me and everyone who knew me to believe I'd never make it out of my 20's.Well we were almost right but somehow I pulled back from the edge of the black hole that was I being sucked into and wandered off in a different direction alone for some time before I got pointed in the right direction. So, here I am now rapidly approaching the end of this life happy and living my life to the fullest . The other day I painted a picture of the ocean . Posted a crappy photo of it that I took while it was still wet.  For some reason this painting doesn't photograph well but that's life. Worked on a job for a few days getting this basement room ready for a transformation into a small second kitchen in a neighbors house.While working on any job I have lots of time to think and this job is no different.I was thinking about the last painting and what brought it to the canvas .You know, things don't just pop out and land on a canvas, nope, there is always some previous experience involved. So here I am sitting around thinking and it hit me. The Halloween storm of the early 1990's here in New York. That's it ! That day was incredible. It rained something  fierce and the wind was gale force so I had to go to the beach. My wife, who was then my girlfriend and I drove out to eastern Fire Island to Smith Point .The ocean was fierce ! The waves were way over 10 ft and the wash was coming right up on the dunes. I went in ! Walked out into this insane knee deep wash as these monster waves were breaking 10 or 15 feet in front of me  soaking me with spray coming off the ocean at around 50 or 60 mph .It was pulling me closer and closer as my wife was screaming at me to get out. I couldn't resist it. It was as if the ocean was calling me and I needed to be in her grip. The sand was washing out from under my feet and now I was waist deep when I finally returned to the edge of this dune where I could climb out. I loved it ! You know, these moments when your life is in danger are when you are the most alive you will ever be and I experience them from time to time usually on my motorcycle but sometimes in other situations.Jumping out of an airplane from 5000 feet in the air was another. That was on my 30th birthday after I backed away from the black hole. The thing with the drunk cowboy in Utah back in 1970 was another. I really thought for a second or two that he was going to squeeze the trigger of that 357 magnum but he didn't. I've always lived on the edge of something , it's who I am. I think we all do but fear blocks most people from actually getting to the point where the adrenaline kicks in . But, these days I play it a bit more safe. It still happens though. That pothole on the Long Island Expressway that damn near took me out back in 2021 at 70 mph on my BMW K100 comes to mind. When I hit that fucking life stopped dead. It was as if the video paused.I saw it, I hit the throttle and hit it dead on straight.The bike bounced up out of it after the forks bottomed out and when the rear wheel hit the other end that front came back down out of the air and bottomed out a second time as I held on for dear life.Then the tank slapper started and the shimmy almost overpowered me but the motor made enough power for me to accelerate out of the shimmy and regain control .This all happened in a space of time probably under 2 seconds but because time stood still it seemed like forever. As I powered out of it I looked at the speedo and I was now going over 80mph and climbing . I never felt more alive than in that moment. And here we are years later after these events still moving forward and rapidly approaching SEVENTY FIVE  years old next week !  You see, this is what  the basis of some paintings are all about. Now if I can just figure how to paint the feeling of flying through the air like a bird

or perhaps the fear of staring down a drunk with a gun pointed 6 inches away from my face ! I use digital to get some of these things into a visual form like this image called " Into The Darkness"

Or this one  that I made from a photograph of an oil painting I did 

 Well, once I finish this last small construction job that I have going right now I will no longer be tied up with work and be able to spend more time working on my art again as old age chases me down and finally takes me.